Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
