Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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