You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
