Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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