This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
