lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
