I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
