I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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