i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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