She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
