What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
