I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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