drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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