I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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