Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
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Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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