I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
