oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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