haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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