I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
