Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize