Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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