I'm going to jail i love you
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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