I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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