Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
