I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
