Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
