Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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