you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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