look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
