Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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