Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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