3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
