I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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