I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
