took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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