Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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