if you like me you must not know who I am
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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