Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
