Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
