He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
