im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
