new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
