i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
