I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
