if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
