Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
