You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?