you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have post one night stand depression
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