D3 body, D1 cock
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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