you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
