i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
