someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
