i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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