the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
