last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize