Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
