We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this just has baby written all over it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
