he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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