just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
