I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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