My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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