and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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